***

to M.Y.
I'm writing this letter to you,
Though I should be writing love letters to God
Somehow I feel like I'm destined
For great things but then again
Another day I just want to be a worm
Live and disappear

You're a living proof that art can move hearts
Now you made me want to do the same
I want to raise emotions
Stirr the long asleep souls
Wake them up to a beautiful life

So that they'd appreaciate warm of the sun
And sweet chripping of birds
So that they'd fall in love with the changing seasons
With how flowers grow, blossom and wither
So that they'd belive they're beautiful people

But to do so, you must be good at something
I'm constantly trying & half-way giving up, yeah
On music, on writing, on painting
On being good to myself

And then again, araises the question
How much pain would that get me?
See, I'm a coward, childlishly foolish & scared
Afraid to throw my whole life into something
How can I make a difference while being lukewarm?
I should sacrifice myself, I just don't know what for
How hard was it for you, to take a leap of faith?
Hah... I'm the one, who's a beliver out here

I feel that if I got everything at the start line
My life shouldn't be normal
I should take a good use of it
And strive for something out of ordinary
Because I've got more than enough
Maybe more than I can take
It's just the fear of making radical moves,
Radical mistakes which hold the power to erase me

This whole thing is so daunting
I've started to wonder how to avoid choices
I thought that since I have it all
I can die now and I'll be as happy
But it never was meant to be about being happy nor dying
It's about making people good to themselves
So that they can be good to each other

Naively I hope that this song would reach it's point
Move someone's heart
'Cause you did the same with your story
And it worked miracles
First broke me, then awakened.

written: 09.V.2026 (one day before my birthday),
sorry for my broken English

so far away by Agust D (Min Yoongi)